Knit Gift Burnout: When you don't want to knit everyone a gift for the holidays
A yarny representation of knit gift burnout.
The holidays are fast approaching, and we aren't counting down the days until we can open presents. We're counting down the days while biting our nails as we calculate how much we need to knit every day in order to finish all our handmade gifts on time. We want to make everyone everything, and it's a noble and sweet intention. However, it can also be very stressful and can lead to what I’m calling “knit gift burnout”. In this week's post, let's chat about setting boundaries for yourself and others around gift making to avoid that unwanted and unnecessary holiday stress.
Why you may be feeling knit gift burnout
If you're feeling at all stressed about the list of handmade gifts you are planning to make for your friends and family this year, it is probably because of one of two reasons:
You have one or more people who explicitly asked or are simply expecting a handmade gift this year.
You are putting an unnecessary pressure on yourself to make a large number of gifts that no one except yourself is expecting.
Both of these situations are equally valid as to why you're feeling the knit gift burnout coming on. Luckily, the stress you feel because of either or both of these situations can be alleviated with boundaries.
Boundaries are all about self-care
Boundaries are lines that you draw that define what behaviors are acceptable for yourself and others. I love how boundaries are discussed in this article from Modern Daily Knitting. In it, the author explains that boundaries aren't about forcing control over every situation. Rather, boundaries are "a statement of intent. And the intent is not control, but self-care." You put them in place to help keep you safe and sane. So, regardless of where the pressure is coming from, you can set boundaries in place to make (or not make) your awesome handmade gifts as you see fit. However, setting up those boundaries might look a little different depending on the situation.
We also chat about boundaries, as well as accountability, in this blog post! Give it a read.
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Tips for setting boundaries
When it comes to creating boundaries, you can follow this easy formula:
If [this] happens, I will respond by doing [this].
It's pretty simple, actually! But let's go over some examples you can apply to your situation.
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If you're feeling pressured by others
If you have one or more friends or family members asking or expecting gifts, know that you really, simply, don't have to make them. Because, let's be real: it is not the end of the world if they don't get a handmade gift from you this year (or any year). And if you know you don't want to make gifts for people but are asked anyway, then you could set up a boundary like this:
If someone asks me to make them a gift, I will say, "I would love to make that for you, but I unfortunately don't have the time."
You can change that as you wish, but try to make it honest and kind. If they have a problem with that boundary, then that is on them. You are doing nothing wrong by putting that in place.
If someone has already asked and you said you will make them something, or they are simply expecting one, but you don't want to, then you have a choice. You can tell them they won't be getting a handmade gift ahead of time, or you can get them a different gift and let them know you didn't have time to make one when they open the gift you did get them. Either way works, and either way is fine.
If you're feeling pressured by yourself
Speaking from personal experience, the pressure I put on myself is often much greater than pressure that others put on me. If someone asks for a gift or is expecting one, and I want to make it for them, it instantly becomes a bigger deal to me than it is to them.
This is where creating boundaries around your own actions and behaviors becomes essential. Because, without boundaries, it's likely you'll feel stressed for time. You'll stay up late, make your fingers cramp up, and maybe not attend fun holiday activities. All for the sake of getting the gifts done on time.
Some examples of boundaries in situations like this are:
If it is past 9pm, then I will stop knitting.
If my fingers (or hands, or wrists) start to ache, then I will stretch and take a 30 minute break.
If I'm invited to a fun activity that I want to go to, then I will go (and maybe take my knitting with me if I want to and if it's appropriate 😉 ).
If I don't feel like knitting, then I will do something else instead.
If I don't finish this gift by [this day] (while following the other boundaries I set for myself), then I will buy them a gift instead.
Again, adjust these boundaries as they make sense to you. And remember, the most important part of setting boundaries is following through with them.
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You don't have to knit everything!
If you're used to making all the things for all the people, but are just not feeling it this year, coming up with non-handmade gift ideas can be a little tricky. Here are my go-to gift ideas for when I don't have the time, energy, or desire to knit gifts:
Buy finished products from other knitters and creators! Small makers have so many things for sale, from craft fairs to online shops! Of course, buying a handmade sweater would be pricey (as it should be), but things like socks, scrunchies, and face scrubbies are a bit more reasonable for your average gift budget.
If you like to make and gift clothes, and are a fan of sustainable fashion, you can shop for used clothing at thrift stores and Poshmark. You can also shop small at local boutiques!
If you like to gift useful things that don't add to clutter, you can check out local shops and vendors for yummy consumables to give to friends and family. Or, if you still want a homemade touch, you can create your own baking mix for a family recipe and package it along with instructions on how to make it.
When it comes to gift giving, it's the thought that counts, right? There are so many ways you can infuse thought and care into your gifts, even when they are not handmade.
If you're feeling pressure this holiday season to make all the things, then use this part as your sign to chill. Set up your boundaries in a way that makes sense to you and stick to them. Make what you want and have time for, but there is no need to stress. Your time and energy is much better spent enjoying this season with the people who matter most.
Did you relate to the struggles in this post, or take anything useful from it? Let me know in the comments!